When parents divorce, they must consider their child’s best interests above all else. What will keep them stable? What will provide them with the best future? How can they ensure the divorce does as little damage to them as possible?
When considering ways to co-parent together in your life after the split, consider parallel parenting first, especially if you do not believe you can transition to cooperative co-parenting right away.
Limiting opportunities for arguments
Healthline discusses ways of making a healthy parallel parenting plan. Parallel parenting is a temporary form of co-parenting that allows you and the co-parent time and space to heal after a divorce. It does this by limiting your methods of communication, allowing you to contact each other through writing only. This includes texts, emails and even hand-written letters. If you want, you can completely avoid conversation by documenting important notes in a notebook and passing it between each other with your child during visitations.
Protecting your child
This allows you to avoid the arguments that often accompany knee-jerk reactions in face-to-face meetings. You can step back if something angers or irritates you and carefully compose your response through text, unlike in direct conversation. This also spares your child from having to witness parental arguments, which can often leave traumatizing scars no matter the age of your child.
With time, a judge can reevaluate your situation to determine if they should make changes, keep things as is or move you to a more cooperative form of co-parenting. The time it takes you to “graduate” will differ from person to person depending on various factors. Do not worry about sticking to someone else’s schedule and work at your own pace.
